Posts by nicolemillerbooks@gmail.com
Chemo Appointment #1: “Perfect Patient”
The morning finally arrived after what felt like an eternity (but was only four days). Honey’s first chemo appointment. The days in between our initial consult and the chemo appointment were a deep struggle for me – Honey was fairly normal but a bit lethargic, and every possible fear assaulted me. I felt like we weren’t doing enough, even though she was on prednisone for the swelling of her lymph nodes. Funny how I was suddenly so desperate for more time with her, yet anxious at every passing moment in which her cancer could be getting worse. But the morning arrived and we hustled into the veterinary office. A friendly vet tech greeted us and took Honey back for her two-hour round of testes and then IV-fed chemo treatment. John and I manifested our angst in different ways. He fidgeted a bit and worked from his phone, eyes always on the direction that Honey had been taken. I pulled out my laptop, wifi hotspot and tried to lose myself in emails and tasks to make the time pass quickly. It did. An hour and fifty-two minutes later (I wasn’t counting or anything), Honey reappeared with the oncologist and her intern. Honey was bright-eyed and wagging her tail as much as ever. The only physical sign of the chemo was a purple band holding gauze around her leg where the IV had been. “She was the perfect patient,” the doctor said immediately. Relief flooded every inch of my being. Her vitals, bloodwork and urine analysis were all where they should be. She had gotten along well with the other dogs receiving treatment. Here are her discharge papers if you’d like to see: Honey Discharge. “She likes treats with her chemo,” the oncologist continued. “So we gave her plenty of treats.” We were sent home with a baggie of pharmaceuticals in case of side effects and Honey trotted out to the car happily. We were told to expect some lethargy for the rest of the day, but Honey kept her sparkle and spunk all day long. That day was the first day I didn’t break down crying because of the overwhelming sense of helplessness. I feel like we’d made the right call with our baby, that we were doing something to fight back that would still leave her with a fairly normal life. If anything, Honey seems to be enjoying these vet visits a bit too much. 🙂 Into the second day after chemo, she was active and napping as much as normal. I’m eternally grateful for these moments and the validation. There is hope for Honey. And we’ll hold onto that. ...
Read MoreHow You Can Help
I’m so incredibly overwhelmed and touched by all the amazing support that has come following the news of Honey’s cancer. The question, “How can I help?” has come up a lot, and to be perfectly honest, the response that comes to my mind is simply this: Hug your dog neighbor significant other friend sibling child cat chicken horse anything else that is precious to you. Do not forget how fleeting life is. Never take a single moment for granted. And in the meantime, subscribe to this blog if you want to get updates via email. We’re so blessed by all of you. We’ll read and respond to your comments emails, FB messages or Tweets. And no matter what, hold onto what is special and live in the moment. –...
Read MoreCoping.
Going through the stages of acceptance, anger and everything else entailed in digesting the news that your beloved family member is going to die within a matter of months to a year… Well, it’s been a rocky road. But I consider it a success that I can now go an hour without a breakdown. I know it will get better. And worse all at the same time. The past few weeks have been an entire roller coaster for me; from an amazing working retreat with my coworkers at Buffer to coming home to find my darling dog’s lymph nodes enlarged. And then the vet appointments and news… But each day brings different triumphs and challenges. Going through six years of photos for the slideshows was such a delight and adventure down memory lane. I am so incredibly grateful for every single moment with this amazing dog with the large pittie smile and big heart. I know each moment from now to the end will be equally treasured. Still, it’s something we’re all coping with in our own...
Read MoreThe Oncologist Appointment: Deciding to Fight
Several weeks ago, we noticed Honey’s lymph nodes swelling just a bit, but as she’s prone to allergies, we decided to see what became of it. By this past Monday, she had three swollen lymph nodes and we took her into the vet. They drew samples from each of the lumps and determined it was lymphoma. With the host of emotions and information assaulting us at once, it’s difficult to put into words. Honey is only six years old. She’s the dog I have always imagined our children growing up with. I thought we had another ten years at least. And yet with chemo, we are given only another 9 to 12 months at most. Still, we are hopeful and confident that we will make the most of every moment. Honey is vivacious as ever and absolutely delighted the veterinary staff at every turn. She’s strong. She’s loyal. She’s a fighter. Here are the discharge and treatment papers from our first appointment with the oncologist: Honey and Canine LSA CHOP Protocol. We’ll take this one day, one hour, one moment at a time. And we’ll treasure each second we have. After all. The moment is all we ever really have. – Nicole...
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